Epiphany

I just had an epiphany...yes, yes, right after i posted that poem and then went for my breakfast break....I whine...ALOT. And I need to stop that. I am constantly looking into the future and tryin to decide how it's gonna end. I don't know why I do that cuz God is the ONLY one that knows how it's gonna end. I have decided to stop whining and suck it up. Yes my emotions are a crappy mess but I need to do something about it instead of complaining. I am going to stop harping on certain things, one thing in particular. My friend, whom i will call MBR, hears alot of my whining and its mostly about me wanting to be with him. Well it's just not the case with him and for days now it's been killing me. I couldn't understand why not, even though MBR has told me like a million and one times. I would wait a couple days and then whine about it again. He was gracious enough to hear me out but enough IS enough. This friend of mine is a gift. A real Gift from God and I am now realizing that maybe it's just enough that he is willing to be my friend. Yes i will always like him( he has this crazy notion that I won't) but it's sooo not fair to him what I'm doing. He really wants to be my friend and if I keep doing what Im doing then I will push him away. So MBR, I am gonna drop the subject of us getting together for good....the why's or why not's. I want to concentrate on being your friend and not for alterior motives. You were kind enough to get on the rollercoaster with me and even though it's kinda makin you sick, you're sticking with me. I appreciate that and cherish that more than you know. I need you as a friend more than anything else. Soooo with that said...Im done. I hope MBR understands because I mean it and my "when" will finally be answered................