Countdown to freedom..

Being that I have been mad busy and it has not STOPPED since August, I'll be brief. I'm moving to GA in less than two weeks and CAN NOT wait! I am soo done with California...albeit living here has taught me alot about myself. There will be a few things that I will miss..one being the weather, and a few (and i do mean a few) friends; I know I'm goin in the right direction. A new adventure, a new start...a new beginning.....so this is what freedom feels like....

till next year...

There and back again...

So I get back to work on monday and all Hell broke loose and continue to break ALL week. Found out my super is leaving after 8yrs of being there. Got all the MD's in an uproar. They depend on her ALOT (too much if you ask me, but who's asking...) and now they have to find someone to replace her in like 3wks. NOT ME...at least not yet...I need just a little more (well more than a little) training. Speaking of which I will be going to VEGAS tomorrow for some of the aforementioned training. It's kinda of exciting. I will be at the Mandalay Bay Hotel which I've heard is off the chain. The training is only like 6hrs on Sat so I will basically have the whole day and most of the night to check out "Sin City" Of course I won't be doing any "sinning" myself but I do wanna check out the shark reef and walk up to the shops. I have never been the gambling type ( I don't like the odds..I always lose) and as far the clubs, I wouldn't go by myself. I think I got all the clubbing out of my system in my younger days. The idea of some sweaty man rubbing his stuff up against me is no longer appealing nor alluring. I went to the website and saw what the "cheap" rooms look like and I would be just as content staying in the room. So Im off again...the weekend should be fun...

WHEW!

Well I am back in Cali...The vacay was FANTASTIC. Florida was MAD hot. My cousin's daughters were adorable. My uncle was annoying but I had a blast regardless. Hung out with SK ALLLL day.... was a good girl (for the most part..but Im not tellin..) I miss him already. Got back to GA and put in like 10 apps for jobs. Now comes the waiting. Took tons of pictures. Maybe I'll post some...maybe not...Two weeks went by way too fast.

Shake, rattle and ROLL........

So like about an hour ago I felt my first (and hopefully last) earthquake. At WORK no less! I was busy just minding my own business folding letters when all of sudden I felt the floor shaking and then the BUILDING shaking. My first thought was "what the hell is this" and then it dawned on me... Im in California. Earthquakes. Oh Crap! It only lasted about 1 minute...seemed longer but still. The building was ROLLING back and forth for what seemed like an Hour. I know you are supposed to stand in the doorway but all I did was just STAND. ...Still. " Real smart" huh! The news says it was 5.4 on the richter scale so it was not that bad. Everyone here at work have been through earthquakes before so they were all laughing at me. I don't care...the office i'm in is on the 5th floor so it was doubly freaky for me. I will take a hurricane, tornado, tsunami over this ANY day. At least you can RUN away or seek shelter..How in God's name are you gonna seek shelter when the SHELTER is moving away from YOU...answer me that...but i digress. Anyway everyone here is okay but this just put the "nail in the coffin" so to speak about my decision to move!

Vacation---steady as she goes....

Well the countdown has begun...I have three days left till i leave and I must say im pretty stoked. 2 whole weeks from this place. And I am going not to just have "fun" per se, I going with purpose. I gotta find a J. O. B.! It would sooo great if i could secure something while Im there but its in God's hands. So now Im just packing..(suitcase is half-packed as we speak) and trying to tie up some stuff before i leave. There is one thing that I am looking forward to...and that is me and S.K. are gonna meet up. I haven't seen this person in Like FOUR years so it will be nice. We are gonna meet up at the Resort I'm stayin and just chill the whole day. It will be good to be around some REAL friends for once. I am also trying to get at some of my other friends too but it may be a little hard being I only have a week there (in Fla) and then Im off to GA. But it's cool. I will still have a blast. My only dilemia now is finding a dang bathing suit. At the resort Im staying, they have a huge wave pool and I wanna try it. Now granted I can't swim a lick but the wave pool is like one big jacuzzi. I could handle that...I think. Neway, I still have to find the right bathing suit and I went to target yesterday to look. And i have one question..why in the heck do they NEVER have the right size bottom for the right size top! What do all the target managers think that everyone is a dern B-C cup! GRRRR! Cuz that's is all they had in the tops. I couldn't find my size NEWHERE!!! And some of those suits were mad cute. What do they only order bathing suits for woman who are less than a D? I found bottoms in my size (that, in itself was a miracle..but I digress) for the most part but when it came to try and matching the top...it was a NO GO at THIS station. Crap, Imma have to break down and go to Torrid ( a "blessed" woman's store). Oh well, the price i have to pay for er....beauty...

T-MINUS 9 DAYS AND COUNTING...

Nine days until I go on Vacation to FLA and GA....CAN NOT wait. I need a breather.....The monotony of this place is getting to me...

The Last of the Mohicans....

I am the Last one. There is no one left but me. I am by myself, no sense in fighting that fact anymore. Yes, yes...among my friends, peers and family...I will now be known as "the single one". I will also go by..."the fifth wheel" and "tag-along". I am doomed to hear "God has someone for you" and "He's out there and he's the perfect one for you" but I digess. My last single friend just found herself a man. I am happy for her, don't get me wrong. It just that it has dawned on me that I have been chosen for this challenge now. And trust me it's a challenge. But I'm up for the task. I am not upset about the fact that Im the last one either......God just has to work on him more (and me). And when it IS my time...watch out people, because there is a HUGE wedding with my name on it....

The smaller they are....

Im sick. Im at work sick. Why does this happen to me every single month? Some months are worse than others. These are the times I wish I didnt have ovaries...well scratch that, an Ovary. And it sucks cuz there are no bennies when it comes to this. How could something so little inflict so much annoyance? I can brave 100 foot drops on coasters, going upside down and fast speeds, but this one little thing inside me can turn my whole world inside out...literally. I HATE being nauseated. I think it's worse than throwing up. At least when you do, the feelin goes away. I should have told that Doc to take it ALL but for the sake of Hormones I kept this bugger ( i know that's old school but ask me if i care right now) At least I would have something to look forward to but all I get is nauseated and tired. On the bright side...at least this will help my...ahem.."diet". Im too nauseated to eat much of anything. Ugh... Excuse me if Im grumpy today.

Birthday RECAP

So now Im officially 35. I don't know what to think about that quite yet. I mean it's not old but i am "FIVE years from FORTY" as my friend so nicely put it. My birthday actually went pretty well, and it's keeping on. Sat I went to Six flags with my bro and it was pretty fun. Altho it was hotter than Satan's underwear that day we still had fun. I only got to ride like 3 rides because 1. it's summer and EVERYBODY AND their grandmother's there. 2. THE LINES WERE LIKE 5miles long 3. We were surrounded by hormonal, musty teenagers. I was looking at them and wondering if I acted half as stupid as that and the answer that comes to mind is a resounding YES. The hills were killer but i was pretty proud of myself that i wasn't huffing and puffing (thank you 24hr fitness) My calves however are not speaking to me at the moment but I don't care Im STILL going to Hip Hop class tomorrow. So yesterday on my actual birthday, I got off work early, pampered myself and then mom and my bro took me out to dinner. Today Im going to D&B with my gf and we will possibly go to Knots this weekend so it's pretty much turnin into a birthday WEEK. But hey, I don't mind. The people who counted in my life did wish me a happy birthday and that's all that matters. Well except for one person and he is currently still acting like he aint got any kind of sense that God gave him but Im still prayin for him. Oh I also got the Study Bible I've been wanting. All in all my 35th birthday went well and like I said is still going. And just think...this time NEXT year, I'll be celebrating in GEORGIA!

My DAD...

Just wanna let everyone know my Dad had a mini-stroke last week but he's okay. It was kinda scary at first because he lives so far away (S.C.) but I got to talk with his doctor and she told me she expects a full recovery. I talked to him yesterday on FAther's Day and told him How Blessed he was that God allowed him to see this Father's Day. Maybe he is finally beginning to get the picture (he's the most hard-headed man on this side of Earth) that God aint playing games with him. I pray for him daily and I know that he'll be okay. So thanks everyone for your prayers(for those of you who did know) I appreciate it.

My Anniversary Month...

What??!! June Already???!! Wow time is flying! So Im sitting yet AGAIN at the "boring" job and blogging on here. My birthday is this month too..Im kinda excited because my brother is takin me to SIX FLags!!! Yes, Yes I will be riding eveery roller coaster there, thank you very much! He invited some other people to come too (Agape refugees also...but i digress...) but I'm not sure if they are gonna go. I will be turning a whoppin 35 this year..sheesh! FIVE years from 40! I can't believe it. I REfuse to turn 35...let just say it's my 6th anniversary of my 29th birthday...yeah...that's it!

Logging off....

So Im sitting here yet again at the hospital (why do i always write when Im here?) So its official...I am no longer going to be on ANY, I repeat, ANY of those dating websites...and yes that includes e-harmony. Why do I say this? Well maybe it's because of the latest "attempt" at getting to know someone thru these sites...the most current one called Blackchristianpeoplemeet.com ( i should have known better than to sign up on this one) They should of called it Blackplanet.com...the sequel, because that's all it is, only slightly less ghetto. I don't know what's with these sites...I mean the men that are on there are mostly liars (the women too for that matter) It's ridiculous. It's supposed to be a christian website but I have yet to meet ONE who truely is one. I get hits but the pics are downright hilarious...Well there was the Rick James look-alike and I thought Biggie was dead ( he had an Orange FUR COAT ON..what the heck???) But that's not what put the nail in the coffin for me.....I can deal with that...just don't answer those ones but it was the ones that seemed cool that I did answer. They turned out to be complete flakes. All they seemed to want is something sexual and yet proclaiming to be a man of God. Grrrrr.... This last one was making KISSING noises over the phone at me! YES kissing noises! And we only were chatting....how long?....Less than a WEEK!!! Eck! And every time we talked he would mention something pertaining to kissing or touching me! Double-Eck! I told him I didn't like that and he had the nerve to get mad! The other one, ( and it was only TWO...so that tells you something right there...can only find TWO on a christian dating site) just completely stop talking, and he was telling me that he KNEW I was the one for him...after a week of talking! WTH? Is it me or do all the men on these sites decide they "love" you within 2hrs of talking to you? And then when you tell that's too soon, they get all upset and then stop talking to you? Compared to these two...BIGGIE was looking tempting...but I digress. So I have banned myself off these sites...it seems like God is telling me to cool it and dating sites is NOT the avenue where I will find my ONE. Im not all broke up about it either...this will save me money. Altho this site was pretty cheap (which should have been ANOTHER sign) I still Completely deleted my profile. I must admit I still have an e-harmony page but Im no longer paying for it. The matches on there were weird too...it's just not for me and it's time I get that thru my thick skull. So from now on, Imma just coast on thru...maybe One of these days I'll actually MEET the one that will prove to me that they are NOT all the same.....

Monotony...

So Im sitting here at work (the other job at the hosp..the boring one) and its only like 9:20 and I have like TEN hours to Go. Ughhh...In between textin my friends and listening to 80's music is the highlight of tonight. Oh and also the "joy" of having patients call every five minutes askin to use the bedpan! That's the extent of my life right now. Well actually I have NO life right about now....LOL. All I basically do is work and sleep. I don't go out..cuz i can't, unless I call off work.
My year at the Doctors office is in July so hopefully I will get a raise and then I can cut down the hours here at "hell on earth"...but I digress. I know there is an end to this...when I get to GA..I can NOT wait. Man this place becomes more and more less appealing day by day. One good thing is that I am Losing weight and it's starting to show.....to other people...not to me tho. I even had a patient ask me if I had lost weight! That made my day! So now im gonna try and start going at least 4days a week..as soon as i can change my schedule at the hosp. Working these Fri nites are killin me! I am sooooo bored right now! Anyway maybe i'll write more later...there's really nothing important right now!!!

Funk....

I am in a Funk....

I am in a " I can't stand people" Funk.

Is that allowed?

So I lied.....

Well April came and went and I did not write on here once...I stopped by but I just didnt feel like writing...For one thing this past month was busy yet AGAIN. We had to move yet AGAIN...too much drama and too much detail to go into here but let's just say we got out because of some shady business that was going on thats related to my former....er..."pastor". Shouldnt even HAVE that title, but I digress..Well now we live in a waaaay nicer place and I love it. My weight loss is SLLLLLLLLLLLLLlllooooooooooooooooowwwwwww but it's coming. Down 7 whole pounds so far. I swear it's easier to put on than to get off! It's so much fun to put on than to get off. I do like goin to the gym, i must admit. I feel really good after I am done so it's not too bad. In other "news" kinda had a falln out with a family member of mine but I know God is gonna work it out. We are basically not talking (not that I wanted to STOP) but maybe it's for the best right now. Im still sad about it but I guess they'll come around. Oh I talk to my cousin more often now tho, it's great, I CAN NOT wait to move to GA. I am sooo gonna be over her house like everyday just to bug her! And she's starting a new hair business and I am gonna be one of her customers! As far as my social life goes it's like non-existent right now. Talk to a few, well not a few...like TWO (heh,heh..pitiful, I know) online but aint nothing serious. And no it's not on e-harmony neither (altho im on that till like the middle of May) I swear E-harmony be matchin me up some weirdo's! I have like 72 matches and none of them are interesting. Maybe it's because it most of them are from CA and I want matches from outta state...welll like GEORGIA! LOL Oh well. Well that's the update for now...gotta do some charting...im supposed to be "working" HA!

Where did March go???

All I can say is these two jobs are all but kickin my tail but there is a light at the end of this tunnel and it's in GA!!! Man I CAN NOt wait to get there! Besides the fact that my cousin is there, there will be more opportunities there. Thinkin bout going to nursing school too...hmmm.. Oh and I have joined 24hr...AGAIN..but I am determined to lose 20lbs (at least) this time. I am tired of being in the F.C.C...(fat cow club) but I digress! Not to mention the fact that I made a bet with SK that I would lose this weight! I am NOT gonna buy him a fossil watch...he'll owe ME a nice set of Earrings!!! I don't take lightly to losing NEthing especially to HIM! Well that's it for now...will try my best to write more in April!!!

Valentine Blog...

Today is Valentines DAy...a day of love, a day of mushiness, a day I used to hate....well hate is a strong word.....dislike INTENSELY...but I digress. Anyway...I did get a surprise...a nice one....JD called me out of nowhere and wished me a Happy Valentines Day...It was nice. Of course with his timing (he's the KING of calling at the wrong time) and everything I couldnt talk long but it was nice to hear his voice. And I also got a V-day card from one of my patients, so that was sweet. Valentines Day was hard day for me...not to go into gory details and turn this into a "woe is me" blog but put it this way...I really did HATE this holiday...until recently...(NO, not till TODAY...) God has been showing me HIS love everyday and how you don't have to measure ur love in just one day. This day used to remind me of how lonely I was but now I see how blessed I am. Now don't get me wrong it would be nice to be with someone but its not like the end of all days if this holiday rolls around and Im not with anyone anymore. And God is such a great God, He knows what I want and He just gave me a Valentine present thru JD. It was as if HE was telling me that He knows how I feel and that HE hasn't forgotten me. SIGHHHHH...that's feels GREAT! Anyways Happy V-Day to everyone and dont forget...that Gods Gift of His Son is the greatest LOVE of them all (is that a song??????)...

IM NOT DESPERATE....

What's with the comments about me sounding desperate??? I am not desperate!! All I was sayin is that men dont take the time to get to know me and just judge me from a couple of conversations....How am i sounding desperate??? See this is EXACTLY what I mean...I write something about how I feel and I get labeled as desperate...GRRR...I don't GET you men... If you're gonna call me that,at least let me know who you are instead of leaving "anonynomous" comments...

Venting..

What is with the men of today????? Got an email from MOG today and now tells me he doesn't want to pursue me in that way??? I thought we were gonna get to know each other??? WHAAAA????? What the heck...it's like he's basically telling me that he doesn't even wanna get to know me anymore. THe "lets be friends" talk came back, which i know exactly what THAT means....."I don't wanna talk to you anymore and stop contacting me." I mean He seemed really cool but I dont know..Men are always flippin the script on me. I feel like I say two sentences about myself and POOOF they are gone! I can't even get them to WANNA get to know me. GRRRRR!!!! God, what the heck am I doing wrong?? Did I strike out on this one too or did i even get up to bat???? What's really goin on? ORRR maybe YOU were just showing me that there ARE men out there that really are Christian? I don't know...what I do know is this is getting tiring....coupled with the Clanging Im still hearing...my headache just turned into a migraine! Now I need Tylenol with CODEINE.....

Does this Man Exist...ANYWHERE????

There's Something About a Christian Man -- Author Unknown (revised by ME!!)
(Originally titled Something About a Black Man...)

There's something about a Christian man's walk
the slight bow of his legs
the inviting bounce in his step
the confidence of his stride
the slight tremor of the ground as he passes by
that makes me want to...
follow him.

There's something about a Christians man's smile
at first shy, then spreading wide with the Love of CHRIST
the invitation it gives to his space
the sexy allure it adds to his face
the authenticity that makes it shine
that makes me want to smile ...
with him.

There's something about a Christian man's eyes
the light it gives in the night
the twinkle that preludes his smile
the wink that tells me, "You are mine, because I am HIS."
that makes me want to stare ...
at him.

There's something about a Christian man's words
at times demanding, other times so gentle
the knowledge that he shares in every syllable because his heart is so dedicated to GOD
the caress it can make me feel without him even touching me
that makes me want to listen ...
to him


There's something about a Christian man's arms
the softly rippling muscles exquisitely defined
the sensitivity that flows when he holds me because of his sensitivity to the Holy spirit
the strength it exudes when it's protection I seek.
that makes me want to ...
embrace him

There's something about a Christian man's heart
the tender center beneath a battle scarred barrier
the way I know Jesus Christ holds all of him together
the times it changed in order to survive and how it has leaned on THE FATHER
the way it melts when Jesus' love brings it alive
that makes me want to spend ...
eternity...
with him.

As the Bell tolls....

I recently heard a sermon about letting things go and it truely hit home for me. When you get hit with hardships or when someone hurts you really bad, it's like a bell. You know, one of those bells that hang up in the steeple with long rope that you have to pull? A school bell or church bell. Well it's like that...in order for it to ring you have to pull on it and yank it real hard. Well that's what being hurt feels like.....being pulled and yanked on until the bell starts Clanging REally loud. It clangs and clangs as long as you keep pulling on that rope. Now if you LET GO, the clanging will still be there BUT eventually the clanging grows softer until it STOPS. I think that's what God is trying to show me...LeT GO of the ROpe and the clanging will eventually stop. The CLanging is REALLLY Loud right now but I know if I don't grab that rope again it will eventually stop.....GOD Help me because this is a REALLY BIG BELL (like Alexander Graham Bell Size) and the clanging aint getting softer yet and I'm starting to get a mad headache from the noise....I need an tylenol.....Lord ya got any???

A Blog about MOG......

Just talked to him...... Made me laugh...not coming this Sunday...thinks it's too soon....kinda annoyed but see his point...... Really wanna be his friend.....hope it continues.... feels like strike one or maybe ball one, yeah BALL one......got 3 left.....don't scare him away......BE HIS FRIEND.....BE HIS FRIEND.......let him breathe.......(have a prob wid that)........GYH, girl, GYH....

My Happy Niece and Nephews....

BUBBY (KELTON)

(wasnt allowed to
play with his

toy cuz i was a GIRL!)

MARISSA

TANK (Terry)

Christmas '07

THE AFTER PIC

some Christmas pics...Sorry so late...

THE BEFORE PIC........

New Year...New Beginnings....

Well it's FEB already and I finally decided to write on here. Wheww!! January was a busy and interesting month....First off, I have left my church....for good. I was accused of something I didn't do, had nothing to do with and promptly hung up on. No details, but lets just say the Pastor needs to check his sources before he goes shooting off at the mouth..but I digress. Neways, I think it's a Good thing for right now because God has been able to show me that I can stand on my own two feet with just HIM. It's good. I have been studying my Word more and spending more time with HIM. I am still gonna try and find another church to go to for the time being because I will still be here for a bit (December Im outtie like the afro of Cali) I still need to hear the Word but I think I am at a good place...theres always room for improvement.....Which is why God decides to throw me a curve ball......

Yes, at least that's what I think it is, a dang curve ball or something, a test, what, I don't know. What the heck am I talkin about...well see, umm, how do I explain this...There's this man...well how can I say...he's seems to be Great. He contacted me online and we've been talkin. And all I can say is from what the conversations we've had and I have seen his page, he's like a diamond in the rough! He is seems very sincere and totally commited to Christ which is THE best thing in the world. I haven't met him yet but I think this man will try to make the effort. NOw why in THE world would God do this to me???? I mean HE knows, I wanna be with someone and HE also knows that IM MOVING! This guy JUST moved to Cali, has a couple of issues to deal with (who doesnt) but its just nice to be able to talk to a man and not be the one who always brings up God. HE wants to talk about Jesus, what He has done in his life, and he's been challenging me already. I know God is teaching me about balance and NOW patience, because in my own self, I would much rather "get the ball rolling" but I gotta hang back. We are gonna get to know each other as friends.....first, which I still have to figure out how to do. I usually just jump right on in without testing the water, forgetting that I can't swim and then I end up drowning the guy by trying to hold on to him! Oh dang......GOD, PLEASE give HIM patience to put up with ME! LOL. Its crazy why when I really decided to just focus on trying to get outta cali ,Boom, here this man comes.......I think it's more of a test to see how I handle this.......if God allows it, this may be a blessing in disguise. If anything I will have gained another friend. So I hope I hit this one out of the park! Geez, I've had enough practice striking out!! LOL

OH btw...CHRistmas at grandma's was pretty cool. Had a blast with my niece and nephews (i will post some pics) My grandma talked my ear off but I love talking to her, she makes me laugh so much. And she told she sees me as adult now so it gives more of an excuse to keep me till like 3am! Saw Dad too, He's getting better, he's back to work. Yeah, he had MAJOR surgery the latter part of NOV and I just found THAT out 3days before I was to go but God worked it out. It was amazing really. I know my Dad wants our family to be closer and He (God) basically had me just watch and listen to everything around while I was there. I am usually opening my mouth and chewing on my kneecaps but this time God kept me silent and said "Watch". And that's what I did and HE opened my eyes to ALot. I guess He was preparing for what has happened at the church.

SOOO this year is beginning quite interesting...and I am very curious to see how this all plays out....