Valentine Blog...

Today is Valentines DAy...a day of love, a day of mushiness, a day I used to hate....well hate is a strong word.....dislike INTENSELY...but I digress. Anyway...I did get a surprise...a nice one....JD called me out of nowhere and wished me a Happy Valentines Day...It was nice. Of course with his timing (he's the KING of calling at the wrong time) and everything I couldnt talk long but it was nice to hear his voice. And I also got a V-day card from one of my patients, so that was sweet. Valentines Day was hard day for me...not to go into gory details and turn this into a "woe is me" blog but put it this way...I really did HATE this holiday...until recently...(NO, not till TODAY...) God has been showing me HIS love everyday and how you don't have to measure ur love in just one day. This day used to remind me of how lonely I was but now I see how blessed I am. Now don't get me wrong it would be nice to be with someone but its not like the end of all days if this holiday rolls around and Im not with anyone anymore. And God is such a great God, He knows what I want and He just gave me a Valentine present thru JD. It was as if HE was telling me that He knows how I feel and that HE hasn't forgotten me. SIGHHHHH...that's feels GREAT! Anyways Happy V-Day to everyone and dont forget...that Gods Gift of His Son is the greatest LOVE of them all (is that a song??????)...

IM NOT DESPERATE....

What's with the comments about me sounding desperate??? I am not desperate!! All I was sayin is that men dont take the time to get to know me and just judge me from a couple of conversations....How am i sounding desperate??? See this is EXACTLY what I mean...I write something about how I feel and I get labeled as desperate...GRRR...I don't GET you men... If you're gonna call me that,at least let me know who you are instead of leaving "anonynomous" comments...

Venting..

What is with the men of today????? Got an email from MOG today and now tells me he doesn't want to pursue me in that way??? I thought we were gonna get to know each other??? WHAAAA????? What the heck...it's like he's basically telling me that he doesn't even wanna get to know me anymore. THe "lets be friends" talk came back, which i know exactly what THAT means....."I don't wanna talk to you anymore and stop contacting me." I mean He seemed really cool but I dont know..Men are always flippin the script on me. I feel like I say two sentences about myself and POOOF they are gone! I can't even get them to WANNA get to know me. GRRRRR!!!! God, what the heck am I doing wrong?? Did I strike out on this one too or did i even get up to bat???? What's really goin on? ORRR maybe YOU were just showing me that there ARE men out there that really are Christian? I don't know...what I do know is this is getting tiring....coupled with the Clanging Im still hearing...my headache just turned into a migraine! Now I need Tylenol with CODEINE.....

Does this Man Exist...ANYWHERE????

There's Something About a Christian Man -- Author Unknown (revised by ME!!)
(Originally titled Something About a Black Man...)

There's something about a Christian man's walk
the slight bow of his legs
the inviting bounce in his step
the confidence of his stride
the slight tremor of the ground as he passes by
that makes me want to...
follow him.

There's something about a Christians man's smile
at first shy, then spreading wide with the Love of CHRIST
the invitation it gives to his space
the sexy allure it adds to his face
the authenticity that makes it shine
that makes me want to smile ...
with him.

There's something about a Christian man's eyes
the light it gives in the night
the twinkle that preludes his smile
the wink that tells me, "You are mine, because I am HIS."
that makes me want to stare ...
at him.

There's something about a Christian man's words
at times demanding, other times so gentle
the knowledge that he shares in every syllable because his heart is so dedicated to GOD
the caress it can make me feel without him even touching me
that makes me want to listen ...
to him


There's something about a Christian man's arms
the softly rippling muscles exquisitely defined
the sensitivity that flows when he holds me because of his sensitivity to the Holy spirit
the strength it exudes when it's protection I seek.
that makes me want to ...
embrace him

There's something about a Christian man's heart
the tender center beneath a battle scarred barrier
the way I know Jesus Christ holds all of him together
the times it changed in order to survive and how it has leaned on THE FATHER
the way it melts when Jesus' love brings it alive
that makes me want to spend ...
eternity...
with him.

As the Bell tolls....

I recently heard a sermon about letting things go and it truely hit home for me. When you get hit with hardships or when someone hurts you really bad, it's like a bell. You know, one of those bells that hang up in the steeple with long rope that you have to pull? A school bell or church bell. Well it's like that...in order for it to ring you have to pull on it and yank it real hard. Well that's what being hurt feels like.....being pulled and yanked on until the bell starts Clanging REally loud. It clangs and clangs as long as you keep pulling on that rope. Now if you LET GO, the clanging will still be there BUT eventually the clanging grows softer until it STOPS. I think that's what God is trying to show me...LeT GO of the ROpe and the clanging will eventually stop. The CLanging is REALLLY Loud right now but I know if I don't grab that rope again it will eventually stop.....GOD Help me because this is a REALLY BIG BELL (like Alexander Graham Bell Size) and the clanging aint getting softer yet and I'm starting to get a mad headache from the noise....I need an tylenol.....Lord ya got any???

A Blog about MOG......

Just talked to him...... Made me laugh...not coming this Sunday...thinks it's too soon....kinda annoyed but see his point...... Really wanna be his friend.....hope it continues.... feels like strike one or maybe ball one, yeah BALL one......got 3 left.....don't scare him away......BE HIS FRIEND.....BE HIS FRIEND.......let him breathe.......(have a prob wid that)........GYH, girl, GYH....

My Happy Niece and Nephews....

BUBBY (KELTON)

(wasnt allowed to
play with his

toy cuz i was a GIRL!)

MARISSA

TANK (Terry)

Christmas '07

THE AFTER PIC

some Christmas pics...Sorry so late...

THE BEFORE PIC........

New Year...New Beginnings....

Well it's FEB already and I finally decided to write on here. Wheww!! January was a busy and interesting month....First off, I have left my church....for good. I was accused of something I didn't do, had nothing to do with and promptly hung up on. No details, but lets just say the Pastor needs to check his sources before he goes shooting off at the mouth..but I digress. Neways, I think it's a Good thing for right now because God has been able to show me that I can stand on my own two feet with just HIM. It's good. I have been studying my Word more and spending more time with HIM. I am still gonna try and find another church to go to for the time being because I will still be here for a bit (December Im outtie like the afro of Cali) I still need to hear the Word but I think I am at a good place...theres always room for improvement.....Which is why God decides to throw me a curve ball......

Yes, at least that's what I think it is, a dang curve ball or something, a test, what, I don't know. What the heck am I talkin about...well see, umm, how do I explain this...There's this man...well how can I say...he's seems to be Great. He contacted me online and we've been talkin. And all I can say is from what the conversations we've had and I have seen his page, he's like a diamond in the rough! He is seems very sincere and totally commited to Christ which is THE best thing in the world. I haven't met him yet but I think this man will try to make the effort. NOw why in THE world would God do this to me???? I mean HE knows, I wanna be with someone and HE also knows that IM MOVING! This guy JUST moved to Cali, has a couple of issues to deal with (who doesnt) but its just nice to be able to talk to a man and not be the one who always brings up God. HE wants to talk about Jesus, what He has done in his life, and he's been challenging me already. I know God is teaching me about balance and NOW patience, because in my own self, I would much rather "get the ball rolling" but I gotta hang back. We are gonna get to know each other as friends.....first, which I still have to figure out how to do. I usually just jump right on in without testing the water, forgetting that I can't swim and then I end up drowning the guy by trying to hold on to him! Oh dang......GOD, PLEASE give HIM patience to put up with ME! LOL. Its crazy why when I really decided to just focus on trying to get outta cali ,Boom, here this man comes.......I think it's more of a test to see how I handle this.......if God allows it, this may be a blessing in disguise. If anything I will have gained another friend. So I hope I hit this one out of the park! Geez, I've had enough practice striking out!! LOL

OH btw...CHRistmas at grandma's was pretty cool. Had a blast with my niece and nephews (i will post some pics) My grandma talked my ear off but I love talking to her, she makes me laugh so much. And she told she sees me as adult now so it gives more of an excuse to keep me till like 3am! Saw Dad too, He's getting better, he's back to work. Yeah, he had MAJOR surgery the latter part of NOV and I just found THAT out 3days before I was to go but God worked it out. It was amazing really. I know my Dad wants our family to be closer and He (God) basically had me just watch and listen to everything around while I was there. I am usually opening my mouth and chewing on my kneecaps but this time God kept me silent and said "Watch". And that's what I did and HE opened my eyes to ALot. I guess He was preparing for what has happened at the church.

SOOO this year is beginning quite interesting...and I am very curious to see how this all plays out....