Dilema...the sequel

Love can blind a heart so much so that it can't define the line between what COULD be verses what IS. Take care to find out if what IS is what it SHOULD be....Love's dilema...MY dilema....

Dilema..OR not???

So Im confused...well not really confused but just...I don't know..maybe just torn. What the heck am I talking about? Well, lets..there's this man, met thru a online site (NO not a dating site) Thought he was DD, wasnt (that's another story in itself, but I digress) dude has the same EXACT initals so I'll call him DDP2. ANYWAY because of the mistaken identity we started talking and BEEN talking over the phone ever since. He seems wonderful, except for a major fact that his religion is waaaaay different than mine. Its NOT fair. He seems really into me (and we've discussed this) but could it be just mere infatuation on both sides cus we have not met in person. Get this he's also in MI! What is my luck!!! Could it just be that I am just yearning for intimacy (not just sex,but hey I aint knockin that either) that Im attracted to him? Man, Im going kinda batty. I constantly have to keep myself in check about this man and he told me the same thing ( but can I really trust that anyway?) I mean the things he says to me is like WOW and I have to be calm..literally. I know part of it is because I haven't heard a man say anything REMOTELY like this in like what..hmmm..I can't even remember. It been FIVE years since I've had a man even touch me, so maybe it's just that. But it's still a dilema for me...why am so hung up on him! OH I've been good (for the most part...) I have talked to God but He is silent for the most part at this point. However, I learned my lesson with DD, and I havent spilled my guts about my whole self to him. My heart is still under lock and key but there is a crack....Anyway maybe it IS just a feeling....Well I'll have to see...stay tuned...

April showers...

Well its April now and I am finally getting used to my job. It's only been two months but going from being a manager to a regular "pion" took some getting used to! I was used to setting my own schedule and doing things how I wanted, but NOW I have to listen to someone else. THAT took a little adjusting. Now its okay, I still have to learn the doctors personalities (altho, I already know one is a BIG baby, but I digress) but that will come in time. I even already have a favorite. My manager seems pretty cool, and we get along pretty good. I just want to get up to speed on what I have to do front office wise. Well enough bout work! In other news, went to a hair show this weekend with my cousin and LOVED it. Some of those styles were wild!!! I love it though...almost spend allll of my money! There's another one later this month and I most def am gonna go! And this time, Im bring at least 100 bucks! Got my computer set up finally altho Im typin this at work (manager dipped early today) Still going to the church that I like but havnt joined yet. I want to but I dont know what's holdin me back...well yeah I think I do. I don't really feel a part...I feel so disconnected but maybe in time it will be better. One good thing is that if I don't feel like getting dressed and going to service they stream it online, which what I did sunday. So that's about it, except for one more thing, but THAT's a separate blog...