Turning point....

I think most of you who read this know without a doubt that I am a christian. I not only say it but I live (or at least try to) it. And God has been showing me soooo much. Things I need to deal with and things He wants me to do for Him. I don't know if I mentioned that I help out with the youth at my church (well I do) and this Sunday was awesome. My bro is the youth pastor and today's service was amazing. You see I have noticed a change in the youth since my bro has been challenging them to step up but the interesting part is that the change was within the boys not the girls. Its weird because it's usually the other way around. However, today, was different. My bro's message today was letting God hear you and You hearing from God. Kinda like getting the spiritual "wax" out of your ears. And it seems to be starting to sink in with the girls. I mean these girls are stubborn, not answering questions, just sitting there and not havin any opinion on anything. But when my bro open up the altar and we started praying for the kids, I noticed some of the girls starting to open up. I was led by the Lord to pray for one in particular to pray for and she just broke. I mean she really let go. I was glad that God could use me for that. Now this weekend we are supposed to be havin a "sleepover" for all the girls and me and my friend are really gonna put it to them (spiritually that is) Its time for those girls to step up and I think today was a turning point for them. Although I know that teens are as fickle as they come I think God is starting something in them. We'll see....

Birthday Adventures...

So its now Sunday and my birthday is over... But I had a great time! Matter fact it was a purty darn good birthday! Friday we didn't get to go rollerskatin because of all the secular music that would have been playing and then I was thinkin...fri nite + secular music+ hormonal teenagers everywhere= ME being mad annoyed and wanting to send every last one of them to the moon. So to avoid that, we decided to go bowling...welll, that didn't work out too good. Because when we got there it was like SENIOR NITE. I mean I think I saw every old person in Anaheim there. Friday nite at the bowling alley is supposed to be hip and cool and have the lights off and music but when we walked in...jeez! Construction, NO music and OLD people. My friends and I took one look and made an about face. And between all of this, one of my friends that I had met online and been talkin with for like 3yrs was FINALLY gonna meet up with us. He was taking the train..(note to self: Amtrack sucks) and he was late (trains fault) So now we were heading off to El Toritos to get something to eat while we waited. To make a really long story short, we ended up at the Bloc (again), tried to get into Dave and Busters...couldn't, (one of my girls was only 20, gotta be 21 after 10pm) Then i found out we could have got in because she was with people over 21!!!! GRRRR! So we ended up walkn around the block. And to top it off, my friend STILL wasn't there...dumb amtrack! By now it was like 1100pm and the Bloc was closing, then he called..he was at the train station. Off we went to pick him up and we finally alll settled at Denny's and chilled, laughed and had a great time. I am supposed to hook up with him tomorrow for a movie because after that only Lord knows when I'll see him again. All in All it was a great birthday and oh, today my pastor and his wife took me out to eat too ( forgot about that) God is good and He's only getting better! Read my next blog!

Birthday plans...

Well my birthday is on Saturday and I have the entire weekend off. I wish I had more mulah to chill with but it's cool. I know Im going rollerskatin with some friends on fri. but I don't know what the heck im doing the rest of the weekend. That should be fun...providing I don't break my neck trying to skate!!! Anyway I'll blog more later about it when it's all over...

Day Six and Seven....Hard lessons to Learn

Well I am combining these last two days yet again because I have been under the weather for a couple of days.. Yet in those days I learned a painful lesson when it comes to worshipping without music. These past 7 days, give or take a 2 or 3, have shown me be a lot. And on Day six, it was like a recap of what I have been discovering. You know, everything happened that day demonstrate how to worship without music. Like worshiping when you don't feel like it...(that was at work where i wanted to roll some heads down a bowling alley and hit ALL seven pins) Or just talking about Him. I was discussing Him to an unsaved co-worker a couple hours later! And then on top of that I was sick ( headache from the pit of hell!) So day six was like "review" LOL God sure is funny.

But the biggest lesson was yet to come...

Day SEVEN...

Now this happened actually yesterday. Without going into major detail, I have a friend and I like to consider this person a really good friend. And this person said something that offended me and I didn't know how to tell this person how it made me feel. But MY FATHER prompted me to talk with them and I was planning on to but low and behold they called ME. Soooo I proceeded to tell them how I felt....IT Did NOT go over well at all. Needless to say, I am afraid we are not friends any longer. And it stings...alot. I will truly miss this person's company but I was being honest and the Word says when you have something against a fellow brother that you should go to him and that's what I did.

So why do I feel like crap???


I didn't do anything wrong, matter-fact I did what I was supposed to do according to the Word. Its only been ONE day and there was a function tonight for someone at a our church and that person was there. Talk about complete ICE...no hi, no hug, no nothing. It was like complete cut-off. And I felt terrible. However on the drive home, the Lord showed me something....He said "NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FELT IN THE GARDEN AND YET I STILL GAVE MY FATHER HIS WILL OVER MINE. " I almost drove the car off the road. I know I did right and yet I still felt like the one who was accused but my Father showed me different. I gave up my will in order to fulfill HIS. No matter what it cost me. Because in my own self it would have be mad ugly....There would have be a confrontation, some nasty words...maybe a fist....but I digress. Anyway, This hard lesson has showed me the true meaning of worshipping without music, and the bottom line is giving up your will for His...in every single area of your life. Its a hard lesson but I am still a willing student. So God...do a I get an "A" on this one??? LOL

Day Four and Five...

Well I have to combined Day four and five because I was soooo tired last nite I could NOT get on here to write!! Well yesterday I worked alll day and the unit was really busy. It was kinda hard to really concentrate on worshipping God when you're trying to work. Especially when you're dealing with people who act like they can't do anything for themselves. But I think that's the point...putting God first even when you're mad busy. And to keep your mind on HIM even when you really wanna cuss! I had to check myself at some point! So that was challenging yesterday but it was pretty cool. I still set the example. Today I met with Jen and we talked about what God has for me. And like I said a couple days ago, worshipping God is also talking about Him and with Him. And that's what I did today with Jen. It was cool. I think that's what it all about..this worshipping without music. Always being mindful of Him and never keeping Him off your mind. That way you draw closer and closer to Him. These past 5 days,(well more than that) has been a learning experience and it doesnt stop there. I actually have two more days to go but it's gonna continue after that. I am more aware now. God is amazing!!!!!!!!!

Day Three..........

Well today was Sunday and of course the worship with music was great. However it was the women's picnic and bbq afterward where worshippin my Father was great. We all had a good time and the fellowship was awesome. I think that's another part of worshipping the Father...having fellowship and spending time with other christians. You know the bible verse...forsake not the assembling of yourselves...and I don't think God just meant in church. We worship Him when we honor and obey the bible and that one verse we have a hard time obeying. In this society today, there's like an "isolation" idea going on. Its like stemming from the ME generation that started back when I was a teen. Many people, especially women stay to themselves and dont reach out or try to get to know others, particularly other women. Maybe its because of past hurts and gossip that could possibly happen but never the less we as christians should be above that. I, myself, have been guilty of this attitude also. However, today I really had a good time. I stepped outside of myself and fellowshipped with the women. I forgot all about what happened in the past and didn't think about if there would be "gossiping" going on (none of that happened btw...) We just had fun. We actually "played" jumprope! I think I was worshipping God just by being there and chillin with the women. I liked it...

Day Two...

Okay, Okay I know I skipped like two days but last night I worked a double and all I did today was sleep half the day away. I know Im slightly touched in the head for working 24hrs straight but sista needed the money!!! LOL! Later tonight tho I did just chill with some of my girls at the Bloc. And we just basically had a good time together. You know its really kind of interesting to keep your mind on tryin to think about worshipping God without actually be in service but I think Im doing it. Like today when I was hangin out, we mainly talked about things of God and where He is taking each of us and how He is working in our lives. I think that's apart of worshipping Him. Our thoughts and prayers are always on Him or never far from Him. Being actually really conscious about it has heightened my sense of how I talk or act too. Even at work. What Im learning is the worshipping Him is an everyday act, and it should get to the point where it's not even so much of an "effort" or conscious thought. It should become automatic. So today was a good day. This worshippin without music is really cool....

Day One....

Day one...hmmm..lets see. Worshiping my Father is pretty easy when you think about it. Today I did it all day...While I was painting, (yes, i was painting a door) I was meditating and thinking about Him. God is showing me alot these days and I am trying to receive it all. Its rough I tell you one thing tho! Last week I was in the ER with Hypertension...medical term term for high blood pressue. My boss made me go to the ER! Ugh it was annoying. I also have headaches which usually only last for 3days but lately I have been having a constant dull ache and a pressure. I think its just because I have been so busy or maybe the fact that i constantly forget to take my bp meds.....hmmm. I feel a little better although tonight i had a constant headache during church. However, i worshipped anyway. I think that's what it's all about...worshiping even when you feel like complete crap. That's part of worshipping without music because when you're sick and your head feels like it's in a visegrip and you still praise God anyway it becomes something sweeter. I mean after service I had a good talk with one of my friends and she said she noticed a change in me and that was cool. Well on to day two...

7 Days of Worship

So I was at bible study last nite and we were talking about worshipping without music. Most people think that worshipping God is just going to church and singing a bunch of slow songs but its more than that. Worshipping encompasses alot more. Its not just singing some songs, it comes from the heart even when there is no music. Worship is when you don't even feel like singin but yet you still give HIM glory. You can worship in all different kinds of ways. So for the next 7days I will be recording what different ways I have worship my Father..without singing a single note.....

Yeah!!!! Its JUNE! I can't believe it! My birthday is this month. Man, time is going so fast. I wanna do something for my birthday but I haven't a clue what. My friend is supposed to be taking me out but I don't know if we are. Anyway, this month is gonna be somewhat crazy...well not really but anyhow I can't wait to see what God has in store for me. I cant wait to start my new job, it's gonna be so challenging for me! Whoo-Hoo! I'll still be on as per diem at the hospital(dont' wanna burn that bridge just yet) so its cool. I don't start until after I come back from my lil godsister's wedding so it's all good. God is showin me so much about myself and that's cool too. Not discipling anymore but I think its for the best. Well that's about it for now.