Dilema...the sequel

Love can blind a heart so much so that it can't define the line between what COULD be verses what IS. Take care to find out if what IS is what it SHOULD be....Love's dilema...MY dilema....

Dilema..OR not???

So Im confused...well not really confused but just...I don't know..maybe just torn. What the heck am I talking about? Well, lets..there's this man, met thru a online site (NO not a dating site) Thought he was DD, wasnt (that's another story in itself, but I digress) dude has the same EXACT initals so I'll call him DDP2. ANYWAY because of the mistaken identity we started talking and BEEN talking over the phone ever since. He seems wonderful, except for a major fact that his religion is waaaaay different than mine. Its NOT fair. He seems really into me (and we've discussed this) but could it be just mere infatuation on both sides cus we have not met in person. Get this he's also in MI! What is my luck!!! Could it just be that I am just yearning for intimacy (not just sex,but hey I aint knockin that either) that Im attracted to him? Man, Im going kinda batty. I constantly have to keep myself in check about this man and he told me the same thing ( but can I really trust that anyway?) I mean the things he says to me is like WOW and I have to be calm..literally. I know part of it is because I haven't heard a man say anything REMOTELY like this in like what..hmmm..I can't even remember. It been FIVE years since I've had a man even touch me, so maybe it's just that. But it's still a dilema for me...why am so hung up on him! OH I've been good (for the most part...) I have talked to God but He is silent for the most part at this point. However, I learned my lesson with DD, and I havent spilled my guts about my whole self to him. My heart is still under lock and key but there is a crack....Anyway maybe it IS just a feeling....Well I'll have to see...stay tuned...

April showers...

Well its April now and I am finally getting used to my job. It's only been two months but going from being a manager to a regular "pion" took some getting used to! I was used to setting my own schedule and doing things how I wanted, but NOW I have to listen to someone else. THAT took a little adjusting. Now its okay, I still have to learn the doctors personalities (altho, I already know one is a BIG baby, but I digress) but that will come in time. I even already have a favorite. My manager seems pretty cool, and we get along pretty good. I just want to get up to speed on what I have to do front office wise. Well enough bout work! In other news, went to a hair show this weekend with my cousin and LOVED it. Some of those styles were wild!!! I love it though...almost spend allll of my money! There's another one later this month and I most def am gonna go! And this time, Im bring at least 100 bucks! Got my computer set up finally altho Im typin this at work (manager dipped early today) Still going to the church that I like but havnt joined yet. I want to but I dont know what's holdin me back...well yeah I think I do. I don't really feel a part...I feel so disconnected but maybe in time it will be better. One good thing is that if I don't feel like getting dressed and going to service they stream it online, which what I did sunday. So that's about it, except for one more thing, but THAT's a separate blog...

Unexpected.....

Sometimes its nice to be reminded that people value your opinion and you're not just a slug on a log. MBR called me today and it was a surprise. I dont expect him to call much these days since I moved and for the most part, I'm "out of state, out of mind" but he called today and wanted to my opinion on something. It felt nice. Of course he would say it was just a medical question but the fact is he asked ME. That was nice. *SIGH* It's the little things that make me smile.....

Where did the time go already????

Well its March already and I have blogged here for a minute. First off, I became a GA resident on the 16th of Jan. I rolled into the state at approx 6am and it was like 13 degrees! Talk about a "warm welcome" Since then, things have movin along albeit slowly. For one thing I have a JOB. Yes, yes I got a job working in a Cardiology office. It's huge, got like 15 Docs that work there and they have several offices that they work out of. I got into the office in ATL and it's pretty cool. I work 10hr days and for the most part it's pretty easy. Im drawing blood again which is good cuz i was outta practice. Annnyway, enough about that. Life is GA is pretty okay so far. We got snow on Sunday and it was funny to watch my lil cousin flip out over it. I pretty much hang over my cousin's house (her mother) every weekend. Nothing much else to do (as of yet). Im still trying to get my feet wet. I do attend a pretty nice church but for right now Im still trying to get settled. Nothing much else to say for now...

TO LOVE....

I just would like to say that I wish people would not use the words "I LOVE YOU" so lightly. Those three words are very deep in meaning and should not be used if not meant. Loving someone is a CHOICE, NOT just a feeling for the moment. LOVE doesnt bounce when times get rough and there is pressure and you feel like you can't get out. AND NO...this is NOT for me...I'm GOOD..I just feel bad for someone else who's dealing with someone who doesnt understand those three very powerful words....

Countdown to freedom..

Being that I have been mad busy and it has not STOPPED since August, I'll be brief. I'm moving to GA in less than two weeks and CAN NOT wait! I am soo done with California...albeit living here has taught me alot about myself. There will be a few things that I will miss..one being the weather, and a few (and i do mean a few) friends; I know I'm goin in the right direction. A new adventure, a new start...a new beginning.....so this is what freedom feels like....

till next year...